The Couples' Therapy Dating Game Extravaganza
by Aria Breuer
Summary: Frodo turned to the camera and said, "And welcome to my show, the Couples' Therapy Dating Game." He cupped his hands over one pointy ear. "What's that? No. Of course we're going to do a dating game slash couples therapy. Who made Aragorn king?"


**Disclaimers:** I do not own _The Lord of the Rings_ trilogy. They belong to J.R.R. Tolkien, Warner Brothers, New Line Cinema, and Turbine. I only own the plot, original characters, etc.

*.*.*

"And now, here's your host: Frodo Baggins!" The Narrator announced with ease.

Frodo runs out onto the stage, before a massive applause. For a curly brown haired hobbit lad, he sure had quite a load of time and research to bring him this far…

"Thank you, Narrator," Frodo said with a wide, toothy grin. He turned his attention to the camera. "And welcome to my show, the Couples' Therapy Dating Game." He cupped his hands over one pointy ear. "What's that? No. Of course we're going to do a dating game slash couples therapy. Who made Aragorn king?"

"I heard that, Frodo!" Aragorn shouted, running from one end of the stage to the next. Frodo smiled back at the camera.

"Forgive me, but the cleaning crew just arrived." Frodo pointed to one of the television screens. "There they are now, cleaning the dressing room… for some odd reason."

"Get this trash out of here, before Mr. Frodo complains," Gimli spoke to Legolas.

"I'm doing as best I can," Legolas said, fumbling with a bag.

"Oi! That's my line!" Samwise Gamgee said – he's the hobbit with the sandy hair – "What director is narrating this. I'll have a right nice word with them."

"Okay," Frodo said, redirecting the camera back to him. He sat down on a chair. "Our first guests are the new King of Rohan, and his bride: Éomer and Lothíriel. Give them a round of applause." He waited until Éomer and his dark haired lass sat down on the chairs across from him. His gaze fell on Boromir – we mean Éomer – "You'll have to forgive the Narrator. We just hired a new one. He's still adjusting." Anyway… "So Éomer, you've been with Lothíriel for a few months. Is that right?"

"Do we really have to be here?" Éomer asked, timid.

"Well, this is a game show," Frodo said.

"What sort of game show?" Lothíriel asked.

"Okay." Frodo turned to the camera, once more. "Now we move into our next segment: Gimli and his tap-dancing dog – or penguin." He asked, confused. "Who's in charge of the cue cards?" He gave up in a manner of a few seconds. "Anyway, cue Gimli."

The television screen revealed Gimli and his beagles. One of the beagles was standing upright, bouncing up and down in the hopes of getting a treat. Gimli tosses the treats in the air, at which the beagle only missed two, but ate the rest.

"Sorry Frodo. Our puppies want their treats," Gimli said, shrugging his shoulders.

"So anyway, onto our next category: Éowyn and her newfound snack," Frodo said, facing the camera.

The screen showed Éowyn making a soufflé. Half the time she smiled at the camera, but kept her attention focused on the food. She wasn't going to miss this opportunity.

"I'll get it right, Frodo. Just keep going," Éowyn said.

"That's my sister," Éomer spoke up, watching the screen. Frodo did his best to keep a warm, happy smile on his face.

"And now we move to our most important part of this show: the dating game," Frodo said.

"But Frodo…" Lothíriel was cut off by the hobbit.

"Just let me speak. Okay?" Frodo said, raising a hand at her.

"That's my fiancé. We are not doing a dating game this instance!" Éomer said, standing up.

"But the dating game's part of the program," Frodo said, startled and confused.

"I've had enough. Come on Lothíriel," Éomer said, coaxing his fiancé out of the seat.

"Wait! Don't go… oh." Frodo spoke too soon. It was too late. Éomer and Lothíriel left the stage. Frodo returned his gaze to the camera. "Well, that's our show for today. Now, let me check to make sure nothing else goes wrong."

"Legolas, your brushing the dog too fast!" Gimli complained off-stage.

"Well, dwarf, you're moving too slow," Legolas said, off-stage.

The camera was replaced by various advertisements about hobbit foot cream. However, that didn't stop Frodo from ending up in a spat with Aragorn. Fortunately, it all worked out. But even Frodo had to admit something.

"Please don't let me do this job again," Frodo said, almost pleading.

"You wanted a game show, my friend," Aragorn said.

"True. But I didn't expect things to be so… chaotic," Frodo said, right as Gimli and Legolas chased dogs onto the stage. The hobbit's expression changed to relief. "Well, maybe something will come from this." He was passed a letter by Aragorn, which read that his performance on the show was outstanding and random. Frodo smiled at that. "Well then. I might as well try again… or not. Hmm…" No. Maybe it was better that he stuck with what he had: his friends and his life. He would make sure to try something a bit less chaotic after all. And that was the end of that.

*.*.*

Thanks for reading. :) This idea just popped into my head. What was neat about it was how the summary blends into the story. :)


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